The officially unofficial rules of being a Tiger

Published on Show Me Mizzou Aug. 28, 2026

The university confers the degree. The rest (irrational loyalties, inherited rituals and strong opinions about pizza and burgers) you pick up along the way.

Number 1: Wear black and gold like your DNA demands it. Your closet looks less like a wardrobe and more like a merchandising agreement.
Number 2: Name-drop like it’s no big deal. Pitt. Crow. Hamm. You say their names like they still owe you a Venmo.
Number 3: Defend your Shakespeare’s cup like an heirloom. It’s cloudy, faded and worth absolutely nothing. Don’t touch it.
Number 4: Remember the basement McDonald’s like a fever dream. It was tucked underground like a Cold War bunker stocked with McNuggets. Health experts may have had concerns. Students didn’t think twice.
Number 5: Use your diploma to diagnose the Tigers. You took one psych class and now you’re identifying collective efficacy and maladaptive third-down decision-making. Coach Drink? A high-functioning visionary with elite executive function and a visor.
Number 6: Mythologize that Blue Note show. R.E.M., Fugazi, Johnny Cash, A Tribe Called Quest: You were 40 feet from the stage. Then 20. Then 10. At this point, you’re basically in the band.
Number 7: Worship Booches. Bring cash. Know the rules. Burger. Wax paper. Cash only. Most restaurants chase trends. Booches barely acknowledges the passage of time.
Number 8: Yell “M-I-Z” and expect an answer. It’s part greeting, part radar system. Somewhere nearby, a Tiger is obligated to respond.
Number 9: Still hate kU. Obviously. No red. No blue. Not even purple. The grudge is evergreen.
Number 10: Treat Homecoming like high holy days. Cry at the parade. Roar at kickoff. Take the same Columns photo every year.
Bonus play: join, read, repeat. Real Tigers keep MIZZOU magazine on the coffee table.